Dear January, Please Have Mercy on Me

December, overall, was an awful experience. Except for the "Oil and Water...and Other Things That Don't Mix" anthology being released, everything seemed to be in a downward spiral. I let myself down so many times that I lost count and just started self-loathing sessions that didn't help at all. It made the situation worse. Along with the loss of someone that I was close to, the holiday season struck like lightning at my face and I was stretched out and being pulled in so many different directions. One person wanting me at their house, another wanting me across state, in another country, another state of mind.

Disoriented. Yeah, that's it. I was disoriented beyond recognition and no one seemed to notice, until I made myself physically sick. Damn kidneys. But that's not the point. The point is that the book didn't get finished and I almost started to cry, because that part of me was dying and I couldn't save it because it had already slipped through my fingers and was flying, ever so swiftly, out the window. But I caught it just in time. Just in time to realize that I could play an intense game of catch up and kick deadlines in the face. So right now, I am working on two, YES TWO, verse novels that will hopefully be finished by the end of this month. I can only hope though...and bust my butt to make sure that I haven't been lying to myself this whole time.

And I got a new tattoo. A memorial for the people who have now shown me everything. How to be optimistic, how to love and how to live and breathe without trying. I also added a new addition to my small family: Isis, a five pound Yorkshire Terrier.

"My best friends mom passed away recently and I realized how short life really is. I mean, my Aunt Robin passed away when I was sixteen and I was extremely close to her. I considered her my second mom. With the recent happenings it just seemed to fit. The lotus rises up from the muck into this wondrous flower and cherry blossoms are only gorgeous for a few weeks and then fall. Life is about rising and falling, just like the lotus and cherry blossoms.None of us are perfect. We are all flawed and when we fall, we fall hard and when we lose, sometimes it's the greatest of losses, but we always keep coming back for more- from the muck, into the world. Breathing it all in and then falling with the seasons." -Flickr, http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicoleeasterwood/